Poorly Written, but Written None-the-Less II: The Resurrection

Earlier this afternoon, I caught a few minutes of frenzied news coverage on The Weather Channel regarding tornadic activity and the subsequent aftermath in Mississippi. A devastating scene to be sure, however seeing Mike Bettes on location reminded me of a blog post I meant, but failed to post back in February when the folks in Washington D.C. found themselves waist deep in blowing and drifting snow. And so I feel compelled to mention what Mike Bettes had to say about that particular snowstorm.

The Scene:

On location, Bettes went on about the gravity of the situation, as this particular storm had provided some aggressive accumulation, which was quickly becoming unmanageable for D.C. residents.

Then he said it:

"And I have to tell you, this is nothing-- there's a number two storm right behind this one."

I couldn't help but interpret this to mean that this storm had nothing over the shit storm that was about to follow.

I know this is a juvenile observation--I know it. But I laughed out loud when I heard him say this because I immediately envisioned myself as his producer wherein I would have said to him via his earpiece: really Mike, a number 2 storm? So a shit storm is about to follow, is that what you're saying? A shit storm. Really? Is this language you want to use?

Honestly, I need to grow up.

jenji

Poorly Written, but Written None-the-Less

Get A Grip

A fellow blogger created a post about a week ago regarding "How Powerless Humans Really Are" when it comes to a particular weather event. Please do visit Marvin's blog, as not only does he have a unique writing style, but he also gets *it. For me, the topic ignited a pretty specific response, as the topic of weather--particularly snow--as it relates to an individual's defiant inability to simply consider the non-magnitude of its presence--has been and will continue to irritate me up until the very last flake has evaporated into the sky.

And so, some of this post is copied directly from my response to Marvin's original post, while I will go ahead and apologize for pulling what some may consider a repost or perhaps some sort of backwoods plagiarism even though I did in fact create the response myself. I apologize, I do-- however, I don't really mean it.

------

I completely understand that a blizzardlike event can slow up or even halt human beings in their tracks. It can be difficult to navigate about a wintery environment when you're not accustomed to doing so.

That said, I've lived in NY for most of my life and I can tell you that snow can slow things up quite a bit. It can be messy and inconvenient; however it's snow and it's February. In fact, winter, for the most part, is not going to kill you.

Our local news networks bask in the glory of a snow event in that it provides an opportunity for manipulative producers to create an event out of a non-event. They love to panic the local residents and they know damn well what they're doing: crying wolf.

It's snow.

...It's not cancer

...It's not a death in the family.

...It's not a life-altering event. It's snow.

In fact, fiscal arguments aside and aside from the unexpected/expected accidents that may occur during a messy commute, a snow event is not the type of experience that qualifies as a disaster. And yet the media makes it seem as though the apocalypse has finally arrived. Individuals who live down south and speak as if the end of the world is upon us need to understand that I understand: it's snow. It's messy and if you're not used to it, somewhat overwhelming. However, southerners (and believe me, many, many northerners who dare quibble about winter in February) fail to look at the bright side or gain perspective for what really matters.

Yes, we may be talking about a few feet of snow, but you're not buried underneath a pile of fallen cement in Haiti; your home has not been swept away by a tornado; a tsunami has not leveled your home and carried away your loved ones.

It's --> fucking --> snow. Deal with it. It can be cold, blustery and even inconvenient, but for the most part, it's not going to kill you. Stop whining, make a cup of hot cocoa, drag your kids out to make snow angels and/or snowmen and thank your lucky stars for this particular strain of weather-related inconvenience.

Belly in the sand. And yes, I have since cleaned the lens.

Southwest

Nature's Confection

Adjust your perspective and attempt to embrace the beauty.

*it: whatever you need it to be, Marvin gets it.

jenji

I Toad You To Knock First

When I opened my front door this morning look who I ran into...










"Yeah...um.... it's like, raining....so, when do we eat? And hey, what's with the cat?"

Our new friend has since been relocated.
No, no. In a good way.

jenji

Huddle

Miscommunication

First ones here!

-Are you sure that the brochure said March 20th?

March 20th, that's what it said.

--So...

So?

--So, where is everyone?

They're late, we're the first ones here!

--So...

So?

--So, what's with the iceberg?

jenji

Foolishness vs Fortitude

What should Mike Bettes do?

He should:

1. Immediately have his head examined, as he exhibits the sheer stupidity and mindless conformity required to risk one's life for the sake of gratuitous sensationalism and 24-hour news.

OR

2. Make an urgent request for a significant raise in pay on behalf of his selfless dedication and vigilant presentation of the current condition for the hundreds of thousands of viewers who may stand in the path of Ike, despite the fact that most have long ago fled and/or cannot access television due to widespread power outages.

Then again, w(h)e[a]ther (apologies) or not he's in immediate danger, he's a weatherman, that's what they do--weather the weather (my sincerest apologies).

My favorite moment of the clip: "Hold on!"



On the other hand, I'm more than sure that Geraldo Rivera simply needs his head examined for taking on what he might call "that dastardly, dastardly Hurricane Ike."

Come on Geraldo, this ain't The Klan, man. And don't worry, your hair looks terrific; just imagine yourself standing in a pool of creamy cappuccino instead of a frothy fusion of bacteria, decay, sewage and seawater.

jenji

Precipitation Consideration

They said it would rain Sunday. In fact, they predicted it.

Personally, I knew it would rain wherein I made a concerted effort to check the Doppler radar for meteorlogical advisement Sunday morning, as I could sense that the swelling, bucking and heaving within my bones was indicative of stormy weather; my personal body barometer if you will. Those who have cracked a couple of bones in their neck, a few more in their arm and one in their knee, which by the way only proves to piss off a systemic condition in the end, might be able to relate to this osteopathic, predictive pinging.

Still there were other individuals who knew it would rain as well. In fact, a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless in an effort to protect the brilliant) intentionally opted for the bus over her bike for just that reason; milling around, slathered in SPF 50, waiting to be rescued by public transportation.

However, another friend of mine (who shall remain nameless in an effort to protect the innocent), insisted that it was in fact not going to rain yesterday. Insisted, I tell you.

If only I had wagered some cash regarding that prediction.

Here's the thing: For the most part, I'm not the type of individual who has an imperious need to argue my point when I'm already more than sure that I'm right; that type of give and take just doesn't interest me. However, I am totally the type of individual who would expand upon it in an obnoxious, passive-aggressive blog post in order to prove my previous point in the end.

Now, whether or not this friend pissed off Mother Nature with his/her obvious snub is still up for debate... ...sort of.

Okay, not really. He/She totally pissed her off and now evidence of her wrath is pooling in my front yard among a gaggle of hillbillies. Thanks a lot anonymous friend whose name may or may not rhyme with Gallison! Sheesh.

Exhibit A
a shot of the street from jenji's driveway









Exhibit B
jenji's redneck neighbors frolic as the water begins to recede








Exhibit C
stupidity is clearly contagious








I'm just sayin', they said it would rain yesterday and they were right.

jenji

Dichotomy, Surrounding

a jenji photo

Daddy? What's that?

-Why that's a rainbow.

No, that with the smoke coming out.

-Pay no mind to the mess below the rainbow, look at the beautiful birdhouse.

...yeah, but...

Birdhouse mister!

jenji

The Cold Shoulder

Current status:

On the rocks.










Tuesday

jenji