Blown

And so this past weekend I ventured out and finally bought myself a new hairdryer, as my hairdryer present (currently past) was as my mother might say: not cutting the mustard.

I bought the CONAIR ion shine Ionic Ceramic Styler (1875 watt) in case you were wondering. Sale price: $20.99

It came with a performance manual and under WARNING I read on about keeping the cord away from this, and to avoid submerging it in that, wherein number 7 on the WARNING was most amusing and not at all obvious and so I appreciate the advisement:

7. Never use while sleeping.

In fact, a clinical warning I've heard on more than one occasion, however never in relation to an appliance.

jenji

An Urgent Request

For the sake of those with Asperger's and Autism.
For the sake of those animals who rely upon echolocation.
For the sake of mankind's reliance upon mechanosensation.
For the sake of all that is sensate.
For the sake of my sanity, I implore you Billy, please stop shouting, as the pitch of your voice makes me want to hit myself in the face with a frying pan.

Unconditional Friend

Little Man
1998-2009















Little Man and his brother, Harold


He will be missed. Rest in peace, friend.

jenji

Survey Says

And so in a moment of telegenic monotony I decided to give Family Feud a moment of nostalgic consideration--

Don't judge me, it was raining, cold and miserable outside and so mindless channel surfing was completely justified.

Now I must admit that I felt significantly jarred by The Host and his Bert and Ernie eyebrows. Then again, he wasn't nearly as offensive as Richard Dawson and his big bag of 1970's slap and tickle bullshit.

No matter.

And so the survey question read as follows:

Name an item you would want to have with you if you were being chased by a vampire.

--an entirely realistic question bound for the quantitative survey of 100 random people if ever I heard one.

And so naturally Andrea, from the animated ménage otherwise known as The Clark Clan, answered with the following:

--a wooden spoon.

I suppose what she meant to say was:

--a wooden spoon, a pocket knife and an inherent ability to whittle said wooden spoon into a wooden stake whilst under extreme stress.

I mean, clearly that's what Andrea had intended, however due to the productive time constraints for which television is required to adhere, I'm confident that the remainder of her answer--that is, her complete answer--was left on the cutting room floor.

These things happen.

jenji

Miscommunication

First ones here!

-Are you sure that the brochure said March 20th?

March 20th, that's what it said.

--So...

So?

--So, where is everyone?

They're late, we're the first ones here!

--So...

So?

--So, what's with the iceberg?

jenji

Limited Engagement

If you need a good laugh, please proceed.
WARNING: Profane language.