What should Mike Bettes do?
He should:
1. Immediately have his head examined, as he exhibits the sheer stupidity and mindless conformity required to risk one's life for the sake of gratuitous sensationalism and 24-hour news.
OR
2. Make an urgent request for a significant raise in pay on behalf of his selfless dedication and vigilant presentation of the current condition for the hundreds of thousands of viewers who may stand in the path of Ike, despite the fact that most have long ago fled and/or cannot access television due to widespread power outages.
Then again, w(h)e[a]ther (apologies) or not he's in immediate danger, he's a weatherman, that's what they do--weather the weather (my sincerest apologies).
My favorite moment of the clip: "Hold on!"
On the other hand, I'm more than sure that Geraldo Rivera simply needs his head examined for taking on what he might call "that dastardly, dastardly Hurricane Ike."
Come on Geraldo, this ain't The Klan, man. And don't worry, your hair looks terrific; just imagine yourself standing in a pool of creamy cappuccino instead of a frothy fusion of bacteria, decay, sewage and seawater.
jenji
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17 comments:
You seem quite inspired by weather-related events lately. But what about the spiders?! Sweet Jeebus, THE SPIDERS!!
;)
Great post!
"I'm more than sure that Geraldo Rivera simply needs his head examined"-- I think this part of the sentence can stand on its own. Perhaps as its own entry.
:D
Look Bubbleboy, don't even get me started on the %&^*ing spiders, umkay?
Lurkfish:
Perhaps I could create a Geraldo Rivera calandar with 12 different examples, in images of course, as to why he needs his head examined. You want in?
jenji
Personally, I'm looking forward to the family of the next deceased weatherperson who gets blown away in a storm, to sue the pants off of The Weather Channel and force them (and other channels) to stop risking the lives of their personnel for perfectly pointless, stupid standups. Yes, we know there's a storm. Yes, we know it's violent. You could just point a camera out the window and play the cheesy jazz music with the windspeed and pressure numbers overlaid on the video, and most people would be quite happy. There's nothing of value added by having your employee stand in the wind and expose themselves to getting speared through the head by a flying signpost. Yes, it would be great video. No, it would not be very useful in any other respect.
I totally agree, Marvin! Totally!
jenji
Of course I want in! But then, it feels too easy... it's like shooting a fish in a barrel, or like pointing out reasons why Geraldo needs his head examined... oh wait...
Also: What's this about spiders?! I haven't been following the news lately, is there a spider invasion? There is currently an abnormally large number of spiders here on the West Coast, coincidentally...
Lurkfish:
To say that I am at war with spiders is a major understatement. Currently, my home is being overrun by the little--ahem, huge bastards and i'm not too pleased about it.
I would say that I'm killing 6-8/night, including some in my bedroom. How disconcerting is that?? And they're freakishly fast too! They scurry.
I've been home for about 1/2 hour and I've already killed two huge suckers. And what's more insulting is that after said execution they leave a puddle of puss on the floor.
How huge, you ask? Please see previous post for description and picture of said bastards:
http://jenjiworld.blogspot.com/2008/01/
arachnid-inn.html
They are freaks of nature and must be eliminated without question. I'm calling the exterminator this week b/c there must be a nest somewhere.
A nest. Ah, sweet dreams, jenji.
Good Lord!
jenji
Strangely enough, a very similar situation is happening in my house! There are spiders everywhere-- terrifyingly, I got up in the middle of the night to get some water, only to find spiders crawling in and out between tiles in the kitchen. When I turned to grab a weapon, there was a huge, spiny-looking one right behind me. In the washroom, there are very many teeny tiny ones, I think maybe they got in through the air duct.
And yeah, the ones in the bedroom are the worst, because then every time my hair brushes against my face while I'm trying to sleep, I freak out, because I'm convinced it's a spider.
I don't recall it being this spidery last year, so I'm wondering if there is some set of supremely favourable conditions for arachnid populations this year...
And I'm shuddering at your mental image of a spider nest. There goes my sleep tonight!
Ooooookay.
I just looked at that link you provided, Jenji.
Uh, I'm not sure what to say, because I'm shuddering too hard.
Except that maybe, you're living in a potential arachnid goldmine-- you really should be selling those mofos to the nearest pet shop... they could pass for hairless tarantulas. Oh my god, that thing is FAT. I would keep Harold close by, if I were you... he might fit inside the mandibles.
Lurkfish said:
"I'm wondering if there is some set of supremely favourable conditions for arachnid populations this year..."
Yes, I believe that would be referred to as an election year in The United States of America. All the riff-raff rears their ugly heads around that time, if you know what I'm sayin.
I mean, even Bill O'Reilly tends to be more aggressive than usual... :)
jenji
I'm pretty sure that the required traits for getting hired as a weather person are: Psychotic lack of personal well-being and a willingness to allow that to be exploited for sub-standard wages.
Also, one must look good in a slicker. (But hey, who doesn't?)
Thus, he should both get his head examined AND ask for a raise (perhaps to pay for the former--not sure if that's covered).
Jenji said: "Yes, I believe that would be referred to as an election year in The United States of America. All the riff-raff rears their ugly heads around that time, if you know what I'm sayin."
That must be it, the sheer amount of pests buzzing around is more than adequate food for the spiders.
Some friends and I were just talking about the American elections coming up, and all of us are basically resorting to praying to all deities (multiple times daily) in hopes that the world won't go to hell this November. We were also exploring any legal loopholes that would enable us to vote in your election. Reassure me, please, Jenji, for we are frightened!
A good description of Ike: Dastardly. no. Dastardly, dastardly, dastardly. no. Dastardly, dastardly. Perfect.
Oh, those vids were priceless.
hey you, whatcha up to?
When are you gonna post again, Jenji?
Hope to be posting again very soon everyone! Currently running on empty.
I hope you're all well.
jenji
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