Matt. she IS what she IS...

Okay, I must say that I find Ann Coulter to be an alarmist: a bickering fundamentalist in a perpetual state of political and social malcontent and humanistic denial. And yes, I find corporeal irony in the fact that she is arguably an anoretic ectomorph whose caustic, corybantic disposition literally transforms her into a most misanthropic, manipulative endomorph whose gauche social commentary, theatrical hair flipping and disaffected chuckling strives to exploit, promote and peddle division, derision, hatred, intolerance and fear into the guts of those of a more shall we say, bilious temperament; and sure she criticizes the underdog with a less than egalitarian view, in fact I find her utterly repulsive as a human being, but dammit I also find her incredibly entertaining.

Whenever I hear that she’s going to be interviewed and/or featured on a program I cannot help but find myself delighted to be setting the DVR to record whatever uncomfortable, foot-in-mouth encounter she is about to provide. Rush Limbaugh wishes he were this controversial, as he fails to proffer his version of hate and propaganda in an educated (albeit misdirected) fashion.

Here's the thing: Ann's insults are creative.

Rush’s arguments are entirely transpicuous and vapid, in that his cholesterol gargling falsetto screams of tyrannical desperation, in that he needs you—implores you—to buy his big bag of bullshit, for further proliferation of the white Anglo-Saxon elite literally depends upon it and further, he must maintain subliminal control over what Rush’s team surely calls the subservient riff-raff; that is, the white Anglo-Saxon middle/lower class who are too foolish to know when they are being indirectly insulted by their great leader.

Rush in fact feeds upon such compliance and conformity to his opinions, in that his ego requires that you kneel before the megalomaniacal, $33 million per year General Zod, if you know what I’m saying, as it will validate, fulfill and justify his sense of righteousness and power in the world. However, there is a pathetic urgency in his broadcasts; a sense of -I’m not right unless you believe I’m right- in his voice, wherein Ann Coulter doesn’t give a polemic shit whether you believe she’s right or not; she knows she right and that's all that matters. She doesn’t need your loyalty, submission, validation and/or ratings; she already has legions of conservatives from puberty to propecia jerking off to her 8x10 glossy head shot. I mean honestly, what more could she need?

Here is a clip of Ann’s latest appearance on The Today Show with Matt Lauer, although if you're going to take the time to watch a video clip, I would highly suggest that you hold out until the end of this entry, which was added as an update, wherein Coulter goes blonde head, to blonde head, to blonde head, to redhead, to wig, to dreads with the ladies on The View.

Anyway, I always look forward to Ann and Matt in an NBC, righteous indignation cage match. I usually find Matt’s moral outrage to be a bit exaggerated, wherein it seems as though the majority of his frustration lies in the fact that he just can’t seem to get her to see how morally reprehensible and insulting she is as a human being. Ann in turn ruffles Matt’s journalistic style in that he soon resorts to focusing upon absolutes and trivialities, a tactic which usually comes back to bite him in the ass, wherein she’ll whip out words like extemporaneously and refer to him as Matt Lauer et al.; somehow Matt manages to look like the lunatic in that he’s pleading with her to see that for which she has no interest in seeing: that she is a nasty human being: that she is caustic, controversial and morally repugnant.

Yes, that's true. But how is it relevant to the interview?

I say, let her bark, that’s who she is and always has been. I’ve never seen a journalist so ardently challenge Rush Limbaugh to his face as to why he’s such an egotistical bigot. Why does Ann Coulter have to play nice? Lauer is consistently condescending in his interviews with her in that he is dead set on challenging her as to why she’s so divisive, as opposed to why it is she thinks that way. He rarely lets her finish an answer, as he is obsessed with getting her to admit that the malicious content of her books are simply fabricated and included to garner attention and sensationalism.

Um, Matt? She’s written six wing-nut books, I’m quite certain that she believes what she’s saying and is in fact a nasty, malicious human being; let her ramble, the ratings will write themselves.

He needs to let go of the fact that a—what some may consider--attractive, leggy blond woman is sitting before him spewing hate and intolerance because there’s something very -Daddy’s-little-girl, very -pretty can’t be ugly- in his voice and inferences that just make me want to vomit and again, while I’m in no a way supporter of Ann Coulter’s hateful rhetoric, I take absolute offense to his patronizing -pretty can't be ugly- style.

MATT:
-Why won’t you just be nice, Ann? Why? Why can’t you just play nice?

ANN:
Well, because I’m a hateful, repugnant, right-wing ‘round the bend, conservative bigot, Daddy. I don’t want to play nice.

MATT:
-But you're too pretty to be ugly, you don’t really feel that way, Ann.

ANN:
Yes, I do.

MATT:
-But how do you know Ann? How do you know that liberals should all be burned at the stake? How do you know that Jews are imperfect and that 9/11 widows are greedy Jersey Girls? You don’t make $33 million/year on a radio show; you don’t have people kneeling before you, validating your cause, so how do you know that you’re right? How can you be certain and truly know that you’re a hateful, repugnant, right-wing, ‘round the bend, conservative bigot?

And like The Keymaker in The Matrix it’s simple:
Ann knows because she was meant to know.

Let it go Lauer. This is who she is.

jenji
UPDATE:
Ann appeared on The View this past Tuesday: need I say more?
Experience the hysterical contagion: the petulant, wing-nut, trichototillomanical hissy fit to the 6th power here.
It.Is.A.Freakin.Mess. And so very worth it.