Ask Harold advises Chet from 5/27

On 5/27 Chet inquired at Ask Harold...
Hello Harold. My question is about bawwwwwwls. With the humid temperatures of summertime quickly approaching, I've considered adding a dose of talcum powder to my morning post-shower nether regions bathroom ritual. Do you think this would be beneficial?
Hello, Chet.

As I am keenly aware of each and every one of your "issues," I must warn you that to talcum powder your "nether regions," or what I so fondly refer to as my bawwwwls, would be a most unfortunate remedy for summer scrote heat.

You see, I recently overheard you telling my mother that you had aquired an "actual toothbrush that dentists use" from your dear old dad. I would venture to say that using said talc powder on one's bawwwwls would indeed leave a sooty, cakey residue that would almost certainly linger upon your tongue after a good bawwwwl washing. That would be quite the not so fresh feeling, yes? Hence, the fancy toothbrush reference.

Long story short, using talcum powder on your bawwwwwls would leave your royal, if not smug, toothbrush jammed with powdery soot and such, and ultimately break your genuine American Dental Association tool.

What I would recommend is that you open a window after each and every steamy shower--then, carefully perch your newly polished bawwwwwls upon the sill--preferably in a window that will not slam shut without warning--then, carefully air the front, sides, overhang and under hang of your privits through the naturally wafty winds of the Avenue and cremative air of your surprisingly stiff downstairs neighbor.

I often air my bawwwwwls out this way after a serious bawwwl cleaning.

**Incidentally, to fight winter bawwwl chaffing, thoroughly saturate area with Crisco Original (none of that smug crap) and then air out with a 100 watt hairdryer.

Good luck Chet, and please refrain from sending any pictures of your progress.
Harold