Greetings.
As most of you are probably already aware, I'm Harold and my life is beyond busy.
For example, in the morning I rise at about 5 a.m. only to find that my mother is far from ready to feed , play, and/or smother me with attention in any kind of way. So, until she gets up I usually thoroughly clean my bawwwwls. Some say that I'm obsessed with my bawwwwls and I say, damn right I am, wouldn't you be?
After my mother gets up, she feeds me and keeps yelling something about, "that is a seriously offensive load in the litter box, Harold!" I'm not quite sure what it is that she means by this, but she yells it at least once or twice a day.
After my mother leaves the house, I settle in so that I may again thoroughly clean my bawwwwls, as clean bawwwwls are the sign of a truly metrosexual cat.
If I could wax them I would do so, as I shed fur like a 300 lb wookie in the Sahara. However, my fear of the outdoors (especially thunderstorms) keeps me local and unable to get out to the detail shop on my own.
Please feel free to post any questions that you may have for me regarding any topic really. I'm very wise and I often give helpful advice. I am highly skilled and accredited, as I have an MFA in the smuggity art of bawwwwl licking from the University of Felix.
To quote the great Mustafa: "I lick them because I can."
I hope to hear from you soon and I promise to get back to you as soon as possible, that is unless I'm polishing my bawwwwls of course, then you'll just have to wait it out.
Cheers,
Harold (Pronounced Hair-wuld)
5 comments:
Hello Harold.
My question is about bawwwwwwls. With the humid temperatures of summertime quickly approaching, I've considered adding a dose of talcum powder to my morning post-shower nether regions bathroom ritual. Do you think this would be beneficial?
I don't know anything about bawwwwwwls but eye do have a question for harold NOW about my cries of lust and wanting that continue into the night? Is this normal for a certain lady that was suppose to have been FIXED! Harold please help NOW,
RARA MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Harold Sir,
This may be personal (bot not quite as personal as the grooming habit you discuss) but what is your current shedding factor? I was at the SPCA last night and was a pubic's hair away from adopting a fellow 'mate of yours until he dumped a crapload of hair on my new white capris. I don't think this is gonna be a match made in Heaven since I love to live low maintenance.
Kind Regards,
Sue
Harold,
Due to my all night bawwwwwwl cleaning sessions, I have been having trouble staying awake at work. Just the other day, I fell asleep right in the middle of a presentation and someone snapped this picture.
How do you work, and keep yourself groomed while still getting the 20 or so hours of rest a day that you need?
PLease see Harold's response to Chet here:
http://jenjiworld.blogspot.com/2007/05/ask-harold-advises-chet-from-527.html
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