What can one say about a sleep study?
It is:
Boring.
Sticky.
Boring.
Gooey.
Boring.
Binding.
Boring.
Constricting.
Boring.
Interesting, in a --mind-numbing, you really want me to sleep now (?)-- kind of way.
Boring.
Ambitious in a --no really, you actually want me to sleep now (.)--kind of way.
Boring.
Unrealistic in that they lost the remote to the TV thereby forcing me to face and address the closed circuit camera as if it were in fact an actual human being with the following:
"Vanessa?"
"Yes, jenji"
"Could you please come and change the channel again? It's stuck on the WWF"
"Sure jenji, no problem"
Boring.
Challenging, in a --how am I supposed to go to the loo whilst hooked up like a cryogenic cyborg (?)-- kind of way.
Boring.
Surprisingly efficient, in that the technician attached well over 25 electrodes in under 45 minutes.
Boring.
Ironic, in that I nearly dozed off several times whilst sitting upright in a chair as said electrodes were being attached.
Boring.
Intuitive, in that the first technician greeted me and immediately said, "oh honey, you look like you're ready for a sleep study."
oh and did I mention, categorically and undeniably b-o-r-i-n-g!?
It was a snooze fest. Or not.
Apologies.
jenji
*image: "Sleep" by Salvador Dali
5 comments:
I think Vanessa hides all the TV remotes.
After all, her job would be unbearably *boring* without the pleasant (and frequent) interaction she has with all the sleep study participants each night. Who the heck would want a job sitting in a little room, staring at people on closed-circuit video monitors as they effortlessly flip through TV channels, attempting to fall alseep while trying to forget they've got 25 sticky electrodes pasted to their bits and pieces? Not Vanessa. Nuh uh.
I've always wanted to do a sleep study! Except... I'm a severe insomniac, so that's probably a no-go.
I agree with Chet that Vanessa probably hides the remotes to amuse herself... or maybe that's the real study, "The Effects of WWE on Female Subjects Attempting to Sleep." You never know, it could be it. I ran experiments in a psych lab for all of the past year, and sometimes we did things like that so the subjects wouldn't guess our true hypotheses. :P
Sorry. I dozed off for a little while there.
What were we talking about?
(Man, it's tough to type while yawning.)
Hey, feel free to send some electrodes my way. In my current state of mental/physical stagnation, the scientists could write volumes!!!
Yup. Sounds just about right. I don't know HOW they expect to get a real night glimpse into one's sleeping.
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