Current Condition:
Well, I've resorted to using a most primitive device—a Bic Ultra pen cap—in an effort to scoop deep down into the gelatinous core of my medicated, desiccated Blistex so that I might somehow thwart a tedious trip to the store, yet still remain faithful to the prevention of nocturnal chapping.
What a lazy toad.
No, not a toad, a sloth.
Eh, if a toad and sloth reproduced you’d get jenji and her current condition.
jenji
**see Jake's rendition of what he has imagined a "Sload" might look like here.
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WELL THEN, GET IN LINE...
taking a break
WELL THEN, GET ON IT!
by nick and sheila pye
I'm just sayin'
ATTENTION!
THIS IS A SMUG FREE ZONE
Need a lil' jenji?
WELL THEN, GET IN LINE...
jenji
taking a break
HEY, WAIT!
some of jenji's film works
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by nick and sheila pye
18 comments:
Everyone knows that would make a sload not a jenji.
Look here, Mr. Smarty-Shorts-Doctor-McDarwin, you may very well have a point with your Boggle-inspired, sload spewing wisdoms, but if you want to impress me and prove that you are indeed a know it all, then whip up an artist's impression of this so-called, new species of sload and post it on your blog site...
what do you say, Jake...or are you...chicken? bawk! bawk!
jenji
ps, this is what makes us the fun bloggers!
LMBOAROTF (Laughing My Butt Off And Rolling On The Floor)!
That is hilarious and it sounds like something I would do.
Ah jenji... I am right there with you. I'll offer up one of my pens to get your blistex out. I could also sit and and pick at my chapstick while you picked at your blistex so we could be sloth/toads/sloads together.
Deal.
I'm pretty sure I saw that survivor guy on TV foraging around the gnarly underbrush in one episode, looking for a protein-rich sload to fend off his impending starvation in the wilderness. As I recall, he didn't find one and ended up just eating half of the sound guy's egg salad sandwich instead.
Come now--toads and sloths would have completely incompatible reproductive systems. Even attempting to splice their DNA is a specious mission...
Oh, you were being figurative.
It's not laziness; it's conservation of energy. You've gone green. Perhaps too literally, I suspect.
Hope your condition has improved by now.
If only I could've done that to avoid a dash to the store for milk today. ~_~' I envy your slothiness. ENVY.
I could think of worse things be than a sload. The mighty sload is among the noblest of creatures, known especially for it's ingenuity and creativity. Beneath the sloads outer fatter layer beats a heart of solid gold. Also, the sloads survival skill are second to none in the animal kingdom. When nuclear holocaust engulfs the world, I am confident that only the cockroach and the sload will survive.
1. A sload will never starve to death. This is because the sload can survive for an extended period of time by eating its own scabs and fecal matter.
2. The sload does not expend excess energy foraging for its own food, but steals and borrows from the stores of other animals, then pats its thighs and butt, as if to say "Dude, I totally forgot my wallet, I'll pay you back."
3. The sload is rarely prey to other predators, because it only seldomly ever leaves its cave, and only does so to attain the absolute necessities. One such necessity is a particular petroleum jelly, found in the swamps of the sloads habitat, and which the sload will store in its belly button for later use, when it is feeling especially lazy. It will rub the jelly on it's lips so that it can breath solely out of it's mouth.
I usually never get the chance to share all my sload knowledge.
Thank you
Still a sload?
Or did you give in to going to the store? Hopefully your lips aren't flaking off all over the place :) lol
I had thought about where i could use your particular ideas on how to talk to my rambling co-workers- i replied on my blog comment section ;)
thanks for that!!! lol
nice to see jenji popping out from under once again :)
You made me lol. A nic Ultra. Haven't seen one of those in AGES!
The fear of spiders crawling into my mouth while I sleep helps me keep it closed during the night. Thus preventing chap-ation as well.
Problem: chapped lips
Solution: spiders
Jenji,
Just got back from the camping trip from hell. Saw the mythical sload on an early morning trip to the pit-toliet. Turns out the little suckers have an affection for Hershey Kisses and Jelly Bellies. Easy catch but not alot of meat on their bones.
Jake
Resourceful! Always have to look at it half full!
Chet--
I'm sure you're talking about Bear Grylls. Who else would confront the mighty sload but one who extracts and drinks the water from elephant dung...
Tom--
You are a virtual Wiki of Sload knowledge. Based upon your description,
I have dated a sload or two in my lifetime.
jena--
glad I could help with some one-liners...
UnMighty--
It is estimated that we each consume 8 spiders in our lifetime...while we're sleeping. You must have a wicked case of TMJ...
Jake!
No! You didn't feed the little devil chocolate, did you? Purge! ASAP! Or your demise will resemble that of a Gremlin who has been fed after midnight... Okay, this is bad...
So@24--
Yes, I am a literal LiteBright o' optimism... hack, I hate this keyboard.
I thought the sour stomach and eye burning gas was from the Jimmy Dean Sausage?
Hey Jenji, Sload season is officaly over! It's safe to come out of hiding!!!!
I think I caught one of those in the pantry last week! ;-)
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